3 Months as a Vegan

I decided to go vegan almost 3 months ago. Something that my past self couldn’t have conceived. That version of myself also wouldn’t have considered giving up bread or cheese, and I gave up both well before giving up meat. My sugar addiction was much more difficult to break than giving up any of the other things, though.

The last 3 months have been great. I felt better going gluten free. I felt better giving up dairy. And now I feel even better. I’ve noticed a few things, good and not so good. I’ll start with the not so good.

I used to feel bloated fairly often when my colitis was active. I haven’t had that feeling in a long time. However, I sometimes look like I did back then. Because I’m running more, I’m also eating more. Some days I eat 4000-4500 or more Calories. That’s a large volume of food when all you eat are fruits, vegetables and very occasionally some nuts. When I eat a mixing bowl sized salad, a whole watermelon, a 64 ounce smoothie or some combination, it has to go somewhere, and that somewhere is an expanding stomach. I sometimes feel like the pictures I’ve seen of eating contests winners, belly bulging.

It’s a little funny since one of the reasons I got into running after the Army was because I thought I was getting a bit of a skinny guy gut. It doesn’t bother me so much now, because I know it’s all food, and it’ll pass. The part that I really don’t like is that after a huge meal, usually dinner, I’ve stuffed myself so full that it’s harder to breathe deeply, there’s just not room for my diaphragm to expand all the way. It’s also a little tough to bend over with such a full belly. But it usually doesn’t last too long. Maybe I should try to more evenly space my consumption throughout the day. If I’m going to have such a full gut, I’d rather it be later in the day, after going running.

Related to the large volumes of food I consume, my weight tends to fluctuate a lot more in a single day than previously. This doesn’t really bother me. It’s just interesting. When I wake up, before I eat or drink anything and after my morning constitutional, I’ve been as low as 153 lbs on two occasions the day after long runs. The most recent was Sunday, July 6, the day after running 21 mi with 4500 ft gain. After my last meal on Sunday night, I weighed 165 lbs. Over the whole 3 months, my highest weight was 168 lbs.

I’ve always been skinny, so 12 lbs certainly seems like a lot. At a bit over 7% of my body weight (calculated at either end of the spectrum), that weight loss would be enough for me to be medically pulled from some ultra’s that I’d like to do eventually.

It’s not that drastic, however, when I think about what actually makes up most of the weight. While I am eating a large volume of food, being fruits and vegetables, much of that weight is water and fiber. The fiber does it’s job and flushes waste out of my system. I rehydrate after running, but I wake up once or twice in the night to pee, and sweat some amount overnight, so there’s some lost water weight as well. I haven’t weighed all the food I eat in a day, but the daily effects on my weight don’t surprise me.

Moving on to the good stuff. I seem to recover faster. This is entirely subjective and anecdotal, but I’m convinced, and that’s all that matters. I can’t really compare to my first two 50k races, because I’ve trained much better this year.

I started eating this way about 2 weeks before my April 50k, which had 1000 ft gain. I ran another 4 weeks later with 2000 ft gain. I ran a third 4 weeks after that with 6500 ft gain. I started running again 2 days after each race. My first run after the April race was rough. For about the first mile, my glutes and calves felt like I was getting punched with every step, and felt like I was wearing lead soled shoes. My legs were better for the first run after the second race, just a little sore and heavy. After my third race, I was a little sore for a day. While my legs were kind of heavy for the first post-race run, I felt fine. By the weekend after each race, I was raring to go for a long run. I held myself back from a full distance long run to make sure I recovered, but I went longer than I had written on my training plan several months ago.

I also feel better when I wake up. For the last year or so, prior to going vegan, I regularly woke up with red, sore eyes. I’m not sure the last time it happened, but it was at least a couple months ago. Also, most of my life I’ve woken up with a generally unwell feeling. I imagine it’s not that uncommon, but it sucks and I won’t accept it as normal.

I can’t say that I’ll never eat meat again. I gave up eating animal products strictly for health reasons. The same sort of reasons I gave up gluten, followed by all grains, sugar and processed foods (there are many vegan processed foods too). Someday I may give it a try again to see if I notice any change. For now, I’m sticking with what’s working, fresh fruits and vegetables.

I Love Sleep

I’ve had an on again off again love and hate relationship with sleep. I’ve had several bouts of insomnia, lasting from days to over a year. Much like many other things, my outlook on sleep has changed a bit as I’ve grown a little older.

I’ve always liked sleeping, but until fairly recently I hated the necessity of sleep. I wished that I could find a way to sleep less without being tired. I thought I was wasting time by sleeping. Time that I could spend doing other things, not that I was being especially productive anyway, but that’s beside the point.

My ambition for running longer distances was actually a catalyst for me to change my thoughts on sleep. Several months ago, I came across Michael Arnstein, the Frutarian. I watched a number of YouTube videos of him speaking. One thing that he emphasized helped him with recovery was getting enough sleep. “Enough” for him was 8-10 hours of sleep a night, possibly up to 12 after a 100 mi race. I already knew that sleep is when our bodies do much of the repair processes. But it gave me something specific to think about in that context, rather than some nebulous idea of repair or regeneration. It’s pretty amazing to feel the difference between the evening after a long or otherwise hard run and in the morning following a full night of sleep.

I’ve been a night owl as long as I can remember. I’ve tried to fight it on a number of occasions, but I end up just cutting back on sleep to get up earlier, rather than going to bed earlier. Since making the connection between my body’s regeneration during sleep and run recovery, I’ve given up the fight. I go to bed when I’m tired and get up when I feel I’m well rested. It’s usually 8-10 hours. Occasionally, it’ll dip to 7 hours or go up to 11. It helps that I work from home and make my own schedule.

You might think, “well that’s great, Brian, but I don’t work from home, nor do I have a flexible schedule.” When I do have something that I have to get up for, I occasionally cut my sleep short, depending on the situation. I’ve also tried another of Arnstein’s suggestions a few times, taking melatonin about an hour before I want to sleep. It works OK, but not great. I count back 9 hours from when I need to get up and take .5-1 mg of melatonin. One thing about melatonin: I’ve had some crazy dreams after taking it. Apparently, people into lucid dreaming like to use melatonin to try inducing lucidity.

If I need to make a pretty drastic sleep schedule change, I sometimes take a few days to adjust. I might sacrifice an hour or two of sleep the first day. Then I’ll adjust my my schedule in stages. The Rattlesnake Ridge 50k I did last month started at 7:30 am. Accounting for getting ready, drive time and check-in, I had to get up no later than 4:45 am. Around then went to bed about 3-4 am on average and woke up around noon, give or take. Two days prior, I set an alarm for 10:30 am, and got about 7 hours. That night, I got to sleep between 1-2 am and set an alarm for 8:30 am. I took some melatonin the night before the race and got to sleep around around 10 pm. While not ideal, it worked. Next time around, I’ll give it a couple more days.

For those of you that have to be to work or school on time at the same time every day, or get your kids and family ready for their day, you can create a flexible sleep schedule enabling you to sleep until you’re well rested. Figure out your range of needed sleep. It might take a little experimentation, probably best to do on a weekend or otherwise when you don’t have to be up at a specific time. Results might be skewed if you’re going from sleep deprivation directly to sleeping to well rested. Until you narrow it down, start with 8-10 hours. Count back 10 hours from when you need to get up. That’s your bedtime. Then sleep until you’re well rested. If it’s only 8 hours, you now have 2 hours extra in the morning for whatever you want — exercise, read, have an awesome breakfast, meditate, or whatever.

I love sleep, and sleep loves me. Even though I used to think I could accomplish more by sleeping less, I’m happier getting enough sleep than having that extra time awake each day but being tired all the time. I’m not convinced I got more done over the long run anyway. Not only am I happier, I also feel a lot better throughout the day. Not being tired all the time is awesome.

June 30-July 6 Practice Running

Monday, June 30, 2014, 8:51 pm
4.8 mi, 726 ft gain, 54:06. Kellogg Lake Tree Farm Gate #2. With dogs. Altra Superior 1.5

I was going to take the day off, but I was itching to get out and run. I decided to time the run so I’d hit some good view spots at sunset. I was still a little tired, so I took I easy. Still climbed up the connecting hill for a little bit of vert. Brought my total June mileage over 170.

Wednesday, July 2, 2014, 4:05 pm
5 mi, 1892 ft gain, 57:24. Wallace Falls TH to Upper Falls & Back. Solo. Altra Superior 1.5

I was looking for some climbing, but not a very long run. I didn’t push the pace until the last steep section just before the upper falls. Even taking it easy most of the way, I managed to PR going up, 32:30, 2.5 min faster than on Jun 29. I think my previous best was 33:xx.

Wednesday, July 2, 2014, 8:17 pm
6.4 mi, 339 ft gain, 1:03:28. Kellogg Lake Tree Farm Gate #1. With dogs. Altra Superior 1.5

I kept it shorter earlier so I could take the dogs out for a run after it cooled down a little. Ran toward the connector hill, turning around at the turn just past the 2mi mark. Then out to Olney Creek and let the dogs play in the water for a couple minutes. Finished out the loop and back to the car.

Thursday, July 3, 2014, 5:09 pm
7.1 mi 2680 ft gain, 1:45:34. Lake Serene. Solo. Altra Lone Peak

My brother-in-law, AA, posted a hiking picture a little earlier in the day of an old, very large fallen tree stump. I recognized it from the Lake Serene trail. I hadn’t decided where to run, even as I was about to turn on the highway. Left, I’d go to Wallace Falls. Right, Lake Serene. AA’s picture was the nudge it took to pick Lake Serene. I didn’t feel particularly fast, so I tried to keep a pretty steady effort. I’ve started power hiking steep sections more often. I don’t really slow down much, and it seems to help conserve a little energy. Even so, I set several PRs for segments on Strava. There were probably a dozen or so cars in the parking lot, unlike when I’ve gone on the weekends. It was nice without so many people on the trail. I was completely alone when I got to the lake. I spent about 10 minutes up there looking around. Every other time I’ve gone up there, I’ve just stuck to a very small section of the lake before heading back down. I headed over to Lunch Rock, had a snack and some water. I watched the ravens waiting in anticipation. I sat and shared a few moments with the trees, lake and mountains. Then I headed back down. I passed another runner as he was on his way up on one of the many sets of stairs.

Saturday, July 5, 2014, 1:49 pm
21 mi 4579 ft gain, 4:53:41. Dorothy, Bear, Deer, Snoqualmie Lakes, Otter Falls. Solo. Altra Lone Peak

I’ve been to Otter Falls a number of times. Always from the North Bend side, though. I grew up out there, but I never went there until I moved back after the Army. I’ve wanted to get a little bit higher into the mountains as the snow continues to melt and figured this was a good way to do both. It wasn’t that high, maxing out a bit over 3800 ft. I thought it was a safe bet that the snow from the last trip report I saw from two or three weeks ago would be gone by now. There were a couple small patches on the sides of the trail at the top.

I started at the Lake Dorothy trail head at the end of Miller River Road (fs 6412) off US 2 near Skykomish. The parking area was fairly packed. The trail wasn’t too busy, though. I think most people had already made camp. The first few miles were pretty well maintained. After getting part way around Lake Dorothy, there was flagging tape along the rest of the trail. It seemed to mark spots that needed a little attention. Also after those first few miles, the trail started to get fairly rocky. I like technical trails, so I didn’t mind.

As I got to the south end of Dorothy, the trail ran into a 30 ft wide creek. It wasn’t on the map, but I could see the trail on the other side, and it went in the right direction. The water was cold, and my feet felt pretty heavy for a few minutes.

Next was the climb up to the saddle and highest point. Then down to Bear Lake, and a short distance later was Deer Lake. The descent continued to Snoqualmie Lake. I managed to trip on one of the smoothest sections of the day going around Snoqualmie. With just a small abrasion to my left knee, I got up and kept going. Another mile later, I realized that most of my food fell out of my pack when I tripped. I still had enough to finish, but I’d be pushing it, so I decided to continue and look for it on my way back.

The trail continued to descend down toward the Taylor River. On the descent, I rolled my left ankle and felt a small pop. It was a little sore, but didn’t hurt too bad. It was a little tight for a couple minutes, so I took it easy. After a little while, it felt fine again.

Sections of the trail along the Taylor River were a bit overgrown. I passed a few more backpackers. I hadn’t been to Otter falls from this direction, so I started paying closer attention starting at about 10 miles according to my GPS, to make sure I wouldn’t miss it. I wasn’t sure what kind of marking there would be for the turnoff, if any. There’s no official trail up to it. People have marked it with cairns and even homemade signs in the past. There was a cairn and large arrow made of stones. I sat on a log for a couple minutes and ate some food.

I found my food on the way back. That made me happy. I was hiking a little more of the steeper sections as well. I ran out of water between Snoqualmie Lake and Deer Lake. I decided to use my filter and pump some water at Bear Lake. I ran into a group of three backpackers part way around Lake Dorothy. I very vaguely remembered passing them on the way out, but they remembered me. I stopped and chatted for a few minutes before finishing the last few miles.

The trail was more technical than I was expecting. The views and scenery along the trail were awesome. I’ll definitely head back in the future.

I took my hydration pack, an older deuter I’ve had for 6 years or so. I don’t like to wear it usually, but wanted to carry more water and not have iodine flavored water all day. I also experimented with dehydrated food. I dehydrated some bananas, peaches, and instead of my usual “dateorade”, made it thicker and made fruit leather with it. The fruit leather was what fell out of my pack. I liked it a lot. I plan to make more and use it in the future. I’m going to work on portioning it, so I can keep track of calories better.

Sunday, July 6, 2014, 8:02 pm
6.3 mi 815 ft gain, 1:20:24. Kellogg Lake Tree Farm Gate #1. With dogs. Altra Superior 1.5

The plan was to do 10-15 miles on trails, but my ankle was sore from twisting it on Saturday. So, I took the dogs out for an easy run. Started slow to let the ankle loosen up. Legs weren’t at all sore, but a little heavy. Let the dogs play in Olney Creek. Headed up the hill towards Wallace Lake, but turned left in the clearcut. Stopped to pick and eat some huckleberries. The dogs found the remains of a predator killed grouse. Just wings, backbone and a couple feathers. Lots of scat along the roads. The ankle loosened up fine, but it will probably still be a few days before I get back to bigger climbs and technical trails.

Weekly totals
50.6 mi, 9h 23m, 11,031 ft gain

Only my second time over 50 miles in a week. Most vert in a week by about 300 ft.

Practice Meditation

The first time I remember meditating I was about 18 or 19. I was a little late to the teenage angst party, though misanthropy might be a more apt description. I spent a lot of time playing video games, wandering around the neighborhood in the middle of the night with friends and not sleeping.

I can’t remember the exact first time I meditated, but my first meditation memory is a blissful island in a sea of self-inflicted, pseudo misery and the unremarkable around that time.

I had been awake for about 30 hours. I believe it was late spring, and the sun was just rising. I was sitting at my computer desk listening to some random guided meditation .mp3 that I found online. A subtle wave flooded my senses through my open window. A chorus of morning birdsongs carried in on the morning dew by an ever so gentle breeze. While subtle and gentle might not seem like much of a flood, my mind was still enough that, outside of the little world of my bedroom and my open window, there was nothing else.

I believe I had recently read about belly breathing, also called diaphragmatic breathing. As the belly expands on inhalation, the diaphragm contracts creating a small vacuum in your lungs drawing in air. If you watch an infant breathe, you’ll notice their belly rise and fall as they inhale and exhale.

Since that first meditation memory, I’ve had a handful of similar experiences both in and out of practiced meditation. Once, a good friend and I climbed up the side of a very steep hill to a little ledge that we saw while driving some forest service roads. Sitting on that little ledge, looking out over the valley, above all the trees, I felt all of it. I don’t just mean everything that I saw. I felt everything, like I was not just one in a universe of many, but the entirety. I was in the only perfect spot for me at that moment. My friend disappears from my recollection briefly, but he’s there before and after.

After I joined the Army, I didn’t really meditate for several years. I guess I didn’t start again until I got out and moved back to my home state of Washington. I was diagnosed with PTSD just before I got out, but that’s a story for another time. As part of trying to heal, I saw a VA counselor who specialized in mindfulness meditation.

Initially, I got frustrated when my mind would wander, I’d have an itch, or something else broke my concentration. The PSC itching was the worst. Whatever the issues were, I couldn’t seem to meditate how I thought it was supposed to be done.

Anyway, there was one session with my meditation counselor where I brought up my frustrations. After the typical therapy back and forth, she finally told me there was no right way. If my mind wandered, notice it and bring my attention back to the object of my focus, which was generally my breathe and body. If I had an itch, go ahead and scratch if I felt the need.

It was a difficult thing to do. Not only had I been treating it like a challenge to be conquered, but I had several perfect moments like before that I almost desperately wanted to reach again.

We had a shed that a friend and I insulated for a music space where I meditated. I didn’t have the same kind of external experience as before. With practice, I got to where I no longer felt where my body ended. I was my soul, a form of pure energy, or a shape of light. I was not my body or its limitations as it seemed to disappear. I’m not saying that I had a true out of body experience, that’s just how it felt.

For the past several years, I haven’t regularly done much mediation. I’ve done the occasional guided meditation before falling asleep. I’ve also meditated when ill or injured, concentrating on whatever the affliction and thoughts of healing. It seems to work to some degree, and whether it’s a direct effect or similar to a placebo effect doesn’t matter to me. It’s also helpful just as a relaxation technique in those kinds of stressful situations.

Running is my main meditation practice now. The same skills and concentration I learned in mindfulness meditation are incredibly useful while running. I can concentrate on keeping as much of my body relaxed as possible and make necessary adjustments. It also keeps me present in the moment, not thinking about how far I have left to go, which makes a big difference on long runs when I’m out there for 3-4 hours or more. When I’m really present in the moment, I don’t notice much difference between 1 and 4 hour long runs, besides the more worn out muscles.

There are rhythms to our bodies. The circadian rhythm for sleep. The steady rhythm of our hearts beating. Inhaling and exhaling as air passes through our lungs, and oxygen transfers to our blood. There’s even a ratio between our heartbeat and breathing. At rest, the average person’s hearts beats 4-5 times per breath.

When I’m running, I focus on the perceptible rhythms of my body. I’ve developed a cadence of about 180 foot strikes per minute. The swinging of my arms keeping time on the off beat. I match my breath rate to my cadence. For an easy pace: in, 2, 3, 4, out, 2, 3, 4… A little harder: in, 2, 3, 4, out, 2, 3… Up to running hard: in, 2, out, 2… I even find myself inadvertently marking cadence with my breaths in a slight staccato beat with my foot strikes, rather than a smooth in and out.

With my rhythm section established, my mind constantly scans my body and mechanics. Head straight. Pelvis neutral. How are my feet landing? Step over that tree root, between those rocks. Relax my shoulders. Try to use only the minimally required muscles and relax everything else.

It seems like a lot to keep track of, but it’s become nearly second nature. Then I can start to go over plans, come up with ideas, admire the mountains, relish the sun on my skin, wrangle my dogs, and when I’m truly lucky, have another little perfect moment. Several months ago, I chased a rainbow on a Sunday evening about 14 miles into a 20 mile run. Nearing the end of an 8 mile combination hill and tempo workout, I had about a 5 second burst of very potent “runner’s high.” A couple years ago, I was running on the side of a mountain on an old logging road with a sheer rock face on the uphill side and a very steep drop to the downhill side, with the sun on my skin, bits of snow hiding in the shadowy crooks and crannies of the draw above, to where I was heading, mountain goats up higher still, and the aroma of the sunbaked duff filling my nostrils.

I don’t meditate in a typical manner too often anymore. Running has become my mediation practice.

June 23-29, 2014 Practice Running

My muscles recovered pretty quickly from the Rattlesnake Ridge 50k. My knees were kind of sore most of the week from pounding the descents, but mostly only when bent further than they normally are when running. My form got kind of sloppy and I had to break a lot on the last descent with all the hikers around. I had planned to run both Saturday and Sunday, but decided to take an extra rest day, for my knees and I was feeling a bit run down.

Tuesday, June 24, 2014. 7:03 pm
6.1 mi, 737ft gain, 1:16:36. Kellogg lake Tree Farm Gate #1. With dogs. Altra Superior 1.5

The dogs and I were a bit restless, and I wanted to get out and get my legs moving. Really the only muscle soreness left was in my glutes. I warmed up after a couple miles. Knees felt fine while running. Let the dogs splash in Olney Creek. Left after the bridge. Right at the rock pit. Left shortly after on a road I haven’t been up. Lots of huckleberries along the logging roads in the the clear cut on the south-facing slope. Stopped for a snack a couple times.

Wednesday, June 25, 2014. 7:53 pm
6.3 mi, 330ft gain, 1:06:53. Kellogg lake Tree Farm Gate #1. With dogs. Altra Superior 1.5

Took the left toward the connector hill, turned around at the first turn on the hill. Then out to Olney Creek for the dogs to play a few minutes. Legs were feeling pretty good, so I pushed the pace a bit finishing the loop and back to the car. The 2 mile split for miles 5 and 6 was faster than I ever ran the Army PT test 2 miles.

Thursday, June 26, 2014. 8:30 pm
3.3 mi, 34ft gain, 28:28. Short road run from home. With dogs. New Balance MR10v2

Really wanted to get out for a run, but knees weren’t recovering as quickly as I had hoped, so I didn’t tempt myself with hills and stayed on the flat roads/sidewalks. Took it fairly easy.

Sunday, June 29, 2014. 3:45 pm
13.8 mi, 2826 ft gain, 2:33:13. Upper Wallace Falls, Wallace Lake, Jay Lake. Solo. Altra Lone Peaks

Should have warmed up first. Lower legs were a little tight until about 4.5 miles in. It had rained the last couple days. Stopped before I started the run, but the trail was still a little messy. Shoes did well in the mud.

Drove to the trail head. Made it to the upper falls in about 35 minutes. Pushed up that last steep climb, so I caught my breath a couple minutes. Continued up the trail to the dnr road and out to Wallace Lake under an hour. Took some pictures, looked around a bit. Stopped at the “pebble beach” at the north end of the lake and ran into a couple of hikers. Went on to Jay Lake, a little bit more climbing. Some nice looking camp sites around Jay Lake. Didn’t find as nice of a beach though. On the way back, I passed the hikers about halfway around Wallace Lake. Return trip from the Upper falls to the trail head was about 23 minutes.

Brought 2 water bottles, a couple ounces of baking dates. Drank about half by the Upper falls. Sipped the rest of the way, finishing just a little before the end. Had a couple bites of the dates at Jay lake. Had one salt cap there as well.

Sunday, June 29, 2014. 8:11 pm
3.2 mi, 33 ft gain, 30:02. Easy Road and Green Belt. With dogs. New Balance MR10v2

Legs a little tired. The dogs were a little disappointed when I didn’t take them on my earlier run. I knew they’d enjoy it and I wanted to stretch out my legs a bit. My legs loosened up a little after the turnaround.

Last year, the city let the grass in the green belt grow high, only cutting it once, and not very short. They’ve had a bit more work done this year. The grass was short enough today that with the few hours of dry weather, it wasn’t too wet and didn’t soak my shoes. I didn’t particularly enjoy running through wet knee high grass last year.

Weekly totals
32.6 mi, 4h 55m, 3959 ft gain

Even if I don’t run Monday, June 30, I’ve hit a personal best for total monthly mileage at 166.3 miles in 28h 35m, and most gain at 33,423ft.

A Wandering & Wondering Life